LiL SNOWMAN
![]() smiley/ sunshine ; 27th March 91 Loves: her family; smelly monster; Lil monsters; darlie; algae twinny; carrot; Elite; dodo; Meesiam clique; Lei Lei; mizi and gang =D; Fatchiek; choclit; 2 grass; weena =D ;EOM; eLeven and her other pillars of strength =)) Life's simple happiness♥ . Wish upon a fairy..
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Saturday, August 06, 2005,
♥ 1:03 AM
watch my sassy girlfriend vcd with sis today.nice thouching funny show.n finsih reading chinese cinderella n the secret dragon society le.still kinda okies bahs.hmms.seems to notice how much i have changed since last year.i read my previous post i made last years.wad a big difference there is in me n my surroundings. how fast ppl changed.although dey may be jus by ur side. how fast i grow in my thoughts, how fast i changed my point of view in life. how fast... couldnt help but admit tt i seemed to be much happier when i was in de past compared to now. cant deny somethings. but issit a regret? i mean, last time i seem to be those so cheerful,jumping here n there, an exaggerating girl,tt always believes tt good begets good. tt believes tt everyday is full of surprises for us to look for.but now. i'm using live a day as it passes attitude to live my live. saying abt my life.maybe i'm jus living it becos i've been apointed by someone in heaven to do so.or perphaps i'm merely living live for the sake of living. last time i could have spends hours rattling on,saying bout positive things abt life. but now. i would say de reverse,although i dun cover some beautiful things tt had once happened. but there r still many things i dun understand. n seem nv to understand. poerphaps u're not me. so u wont understand.how can i explain? the life i'm living now seems so colourful,but issit actually plain emptiness deep inside? i dunnoe. n i wonder wad wil happen if oneday i were to discover theres onli emptiness n darkneess? n tt actuall colours were merely a decoration. i noe things doesnt last forever. at the saem times. i couldnt help but find earth ugly at times. i dun say it but its really how i'm thinking. i sick n tired of feeling sad. i 'm sick n tired of being wronged n having the need to explain myself.i sick n tired of hearing excuses.i'm sick n tired of hearing how much one hates me.i'm sick n tired of looking through fake faces.i'm sick n tired of acting.i'm sick n tired of having being 2 sided. i'm sick n tired of wad i am seeing everyday,which is nth but another day of repeatition.i'm sick of ppl thinking they noe me. sometiems i'm even sick of ppl caring for me. i'm selfish buit sometimes i hopes to be alone. yet i hates lonliness.n i'm so sick of contradictors. sometimes i look back into de past. n realise life was nice untill things happen,ppl appears. dey took away my happiness n stepped onto it untill it shattered n nth came back. dey treat it as nth has happen.becos dey didnt even cared how i would feel. maybe things wouldnt have changed if it wasnt for them. i dununderstand.cant dey let me live my life?de way i wanted to? y mus dey make things complicated when everything is actually v.simple?y issit some ppl r always putting themselves 1st, thinking abt their benefits n nv thinking for others. i dun understand. although i dun tell them,i find them jus as selfish.maybe afterall nth has changed. its merely time for me to wake from the beautiful dream i thought i had own. maybe this is reality after all. |